Meme: Words!
Jun. 30th, 2009 07:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tefnutReply to this meme by yelling "Words!" and I will give you five words that remind me of you. Then post them in your LJ and explain what they mean to you.
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silverjackal Words that remind me of you: writing, army, running, England, and Star Gate (one word).
Writing
Writing is a necessity. It's what I do, it's what I want to do. Yet I'm such a slow writer, it's a very painful process. I've just finished a short story (first draft, it's sleeping in a tray for the moment). The characters, plot and settings were quite clear in my mind, and yet it took me almost a month to lay out a measly 8000 words. It feels like extracting one's own wisdom tooth.
On the plus side, it's been a long time since I've written original fiction. I needed the break from fanfiction -- the last couple of years, whenever I tried creating a character, I had Daniel Jackson or Spike or Buffy jumping on the page.
Writing fanfic has made me think hard on characterization and plot. I can go back now, read my stories, and see where I've gone wrong. Next step: tackling descriptions (my nightmare), inner thoughts (too little, too much?), and length. I want to write a novel, dammit! I need to build discipline and stamina. Hence, the army, and the running.
Army
I've always been bad at obeying orders.
Oh not in appearance. I was the perfect pupil in school; attentive, silent, eager to do my homework. But that was out of selfishness. I simply loved to learn, and anything that went against that was bad. Later I rebelled against some teachers, as I thought their method was hindering my learning process. It was subtle; I didn't do all my homework, or I learned extra info just to counter them.
Then, as I was studying to become a teacher, I cranked it up a notch. I rebelled against the teaching institution. I couldn't accept some of its core principles. I jinxed my career, not that I regret it now. I'm not strong enough to be a teacher.
I rebelled against my family, like everybody else, except that it was always in sneaky way. Nobody noticed what I was doing, but me. It sort of defeated the purpose.
In appearance I seemed to obey orders. I even thought I did. I thought that was the one thing I was good at. Then one day I got fired from a job. It wasn't a great job, and it cost more in fuel than what it paid, so it didn't matter. The boss told me one thing, though, that upset me. She said I was unable to follow simple orders -- that I was doing a good job, overall, that I was smart, fast, and serious; but that I had a tendency to only follow my own goals.
Nothing truer has ever been said.
So after some thinking, and at the first occasion, I signed up for a 15-day training session at the army. It taught me many things.
First, I look good in uniform. Yay me!
I can obey orders pretty well *if* I trust my superior officer / leader / boss. Otherwise, indeed, I tend to do whatever I think is best.
Shooting a gun isn't that difficult. A well-designed gun is easy to carry. It feels natural and well-balanced. I had none of the awkward feeling I have when I carry a big camera, for example, even though the gun was heavier.
I'm a stubborn hyena when it comes down to it. I'm tough and agressive. That was a surprise.
Overall I had a great time. It ended badly. I had an accident during exercise. My floating ribs and my solar plexus got squashed. My back took some damage as well. I couldn't lift my left arm very much after that for months. I lost most of my muscles through lack of use after that; I couldn't stand the pain. The ribs and my shoulderblade still hurt, not so much anymore though. I've been easing my way back into sports for a few months now.
Running
As I'm feeling better, I'll start running again in a few weeks. I'm spending time at the Gym club in the meantime, and I must say it's more fun than I expected. And yeah, I love running, especially in the morning, in the forest. I like how my body behaves like a well-oiled machine, how my brain goes on vacation, how everything seems to fall into place. I like running a bit too fast in the curves. I like that I sweat, that I hurt a bit, that I'm exhausted afterwards. I like the water I have to drink, the nice shower afterwards.
I don't like the extra laundry. And one thing I really, really don't like is tarmac.
England
I met the man I'm in love with in London.
I had moved to England in part to check if I could live on my own, in part to escape my responsibilities as a grown-up. I was supposed to build a career, and couldn't be bothered to. This last part hasn't changed: I still haven't been able to find a stable job.
I also wanted to speak english. Like a native. That's my dream -- that one of these days, nobody will know I'm French unless I tell them so. It's not that I don't like french; it's a wonderful language. English... just sounds better to me.
For now I'm back in France. Have been for the last five years. I miss England in the way I missed France when I lived there. We'll move back there in 2010. Home, at last?
Star Gate
The first fanfic I read was a Star Gate one. I remember I was looking for information on some of the Egyptian gods mentioned in the show -- I wanted to know what elements the directors had used and how they had twisted them to fit into their world. My google-fu wasn't that brilliant at the time (wait, there was no google at the time!), and I found fanfics instead of the encyclopediae I was looking for.
Next thing you know, as I didn't have an internet access at home, I was reading erotic stories in English while my IT teacher wasn't looking. I discovered many odd things. Fanfic lingo, canon, slash, bad and good stories.
That people could post on the web, and I could read their stories, was a huge discovery. I realised I could do the same. I could be published and be read. I could learn how to write.
This show is also responsible for my internet names: Tefnut and Raindrop. Tefnut is an Egyptian goddess. I made her the "bad guy" of my first attempt at fanfic. It was written in English, and believe me, you're glad I've never finished it. I only kept the name, which I've used for anything related to fanfics ever since. I wrote Buffy fanfics (in French) for a while, and then went back to Stargate a few years ago. I'm now sliding back to Buffy (in English).
In-between writing periods, I discovered Second Life. I had always felt ashamed with using the name of a Goddess -- I'm not that important! So I shrunk my name until it only contained the smallest unit of Tefnut: a raindrop. While I'm keeping Tefnut for practical reasons, I've become Raindrop.
silverjackal Words that remind me of you: writing, army, running, England, and Star Gate (one word).Writing
Writing is a necessity. It's what I do, it's what I want to do. Yet I'm such a slow writer, it's a very painful process. I've just finished a short story (first draft, it's sleeping in a tray for the moment). The characters, plot and settings were quite clear in my mind, and yet it took me almost a month to lay out a measly 8000 words. It feels like extracting one's own wisdom tooth.
On the plus side, it's been a long time since I've written original fiction. I needed the break from fanfiction -- the last couple of years, whenever I tried creating a character, I had Daniel Jackson or Spike or Buffy jumping on the page.
Writing fanfic has made me think hard on characterization and plot. I can go back now, read my stories, and see where I've gone wrong. Next step: tackling descriptions (my nightmare), inner thoughts (too little, too much?), and length. I want to write a novel, dammit! I need to build discipline and stamina. Hence, the army, and the running.
Army
I've always been bad at obeying orders.
Oh not in appearance. I was the perfect pupil in school; attentive, silent, eager to do my homework. But that was out of selfishness. I simply loved to learn, and anything that went against that was bad. Later I rebelled against some teachers, as I thought their method was hindering my learning process. It was subtle; I didn't do all my homework, or I learned extra info just to counter them.
Then, as I was studying to become a teacher, I cranked it up a notch. I rebelled against the teaching institution. I couldn't accept some of its core principles. I jinxed my career, not that I regret it now. I'm not strong enough to be a teacher.
I rebelled against my family, like everybody else, except that it was always in sneaky way. Nobody noticed what I was doing, but me. It sort of defeated the purpose.
In appearance I seemed to obey orders. I even thought I did. I thought that was the one thing I was good at. Then one day I got fired from a job. It wasn't a great job, and it cost more in fuel than what it paid, so it didn't matter. The boss told me one thing, though, that upset me. She said I was unable to follow simple orders -- that I was doing a good job, overall, that I was smart, fast, and serious; but that I had a tendency to only follow my own goals.
Nothing truer has ever been said.
So after some thinking, and at the first occasion, I signed up for a 15-day training session at the army. It taught me many things.
First, I look good in uniform. Yay me!
I can obey orders pretty well *if* I trust my superior officer / leader / boss. Otherwise, indeed, I tend to do whatever I think is best.
Shooting a gun isn't that difficult. A well-designed gun is easy to carry. It feels natural and well-balanced. I had none of the awkward feeling I have when I carry a big camera, for example, even though the gun was heavier.
I'm a stubborn hyena when it comes down to it. I'm tough and agressive. That was a surprise.
Overall I had a great time. It ended badly. I had an accident during exercise. My floating ribs and my solar plexus got squashed. My back took some damage as well. I couldn't lift my left arm very much after that for months. I lost most of my muscles through lack of use after that; I couldn't stand the pain. The ribs and my shoulderblade still hurt, not so much anymore though. I've been easing my way back into sports for a few months now.
Running
As I'm feeling better, I'll start running again in a few weeks. I'm spending time at the Gym club in the meantime, and I must say it's more fun than I expected. And yeah, I love running, especially in the morning, in the forest. I like how my body behaves like a well-oiled machine, how my brain goes on vacation, how everything seems to fall into place. I like running a bit too fast in the curves. I like that I sweat, that I hurt a bit, that I'm exhausted afterwards. I like the water I have to drink, the nice shower afterwards.
I don't like the extra laundry. And one thing I really, really don't like is tarmac.
England
I met the man I'm in love with in London.
I had moved to England in part to check if I could live on my own, in part to escape my responsibilities as a grown-up. I was supposed to build a career, and couldn't be bothered to. This last part hasn't changed: I still haven't been able to find a stable job.
I also wanted to speak english. Like a native. That's my dream -- that one of these days, nobody will know I'm French unless I tell them so. It's not that I don't like french; it's a wonderful language. English... just sounds better to me.
For now I'm back in France. Have been for the last five years. I miss England in the way I missed France when I lived there. We'll move back there in 2010. Home, at last?
Star Gate
The first fanfic I read was a Star Gate one. I remember I was looking for information on some of the Egyptian gods mentioned in the show -- I wanted to know what elements the directors had used and how they had twisted them to fit into their world. My google-fu wasn't that brilliant at the time (wait, there was no google at the time!), and I found fanfics instead of the encyclopediae I was looking for.
Next thing you know, as I didn't have an internet access at home, I was reading erotic stories in English while my IT teacher wasn't looking. I discovered many odd things. Fanfic lingo, canon, slash, bad and good stories.
That people could post on the web, and I could read their stories, was a huge discovery. I realised I could do the same. I could be published and be read. I could learn how to write.
This show is also responsible for my internet names: Tefnut and Raindrop. Tefnut is an Egyptian goddess. I made her the "bad guy" of my first attempt at fanfic. It was written in English, and believe me, you're glad I've never finished it. I only kept the name, which I've used for anything related to fanfics ever since. I wrote Buffy fanfics (in French) for a while, and then went back to Stargate a few years ago. I'm now sliding back to Buffy (in English).
In-between writing periods, I discovered Second Life. I had always felt ashamed with using the name of a Goddess -- I'm not that important! So I shrunk my name until it only contained the smallest unit of Tefnut: a raindrop. While I'm keeping Tefnut for practical reasons, I've become Raindrop.