Job interview, difficult decisions.
Aug. 19th, 2009 10:28 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tefnutI had a job interview yesterday. I think it went fine, although it's always difficult to tell. I'm only coming down from my frantic state today. Yesterday was... difficult. Not so much for me, as for my Significant Other. Poor man.
Aside from the normal stress from an interview, I had to cope with an additional factor. I applied for that job something like six months ago (an eternity) for what I had understood to be a one-year contract. It is, in fact, a two-year one. That would push my going back to London to September 2011. I'm itching to go as it is. Two years to wait... Oh god.
S.O is planning to leave France in November.
So that means, two years, without him. That's just like when he had to go back to New-Zealand for two years, to get his papers sorted out after the burglary. We made do, but it hurt. He wouldn't be as far away this time around, but we probably won't be able to see each other much anyway. Trips are expensive. We might spend a lot of time in Second Life, once he gets a proper internet connection.
But will I be able to stay in France for that long? I miss my chosen language, my chosen country. I'm homesick. And even though I know I'll be homesick with France once I get there, too, the feeling is overwhelming. I'm angry at S.O that it took him so long to accept to go back to London, despite my pleas. Yes, I was sick. But I was sick because I felt stuck in this country, in this sad little town, and the more he refused to leave and find a job in England, the worse I felt.
And now that it was starting to take shape... we had a time-frame, a plan... Now we have to reconsider everything again. September 2011.
There's another problem with that job. It's a people job. I'm good with people, to a point, but I stress out easily (obvious much?). I think I can deal with one year, but two years? A bit long. And yet I'm tempted, because it's a nice job, for a worthy cause: recycling.
Dunno what to do. S.O's standard answer, "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it", just doesn't cut it this time. I sort of hope they don't pick me up for the job, so that I don't have to decide -- but that's the coward's way. I have to face my responsibilities and choose anyway. It's tough.
Aside from the normal stress from an interview, I had to cope with an additional factor. I applied for that job something like six months ago (an eternity) for what I had understood to be a one-year contract. It is, in fact, a two-year one. That would push my going back to London to September 2011. I'm itching to go as it is. Two years to wait... Oh god.
S.O is planning to leave France in November.
So that means, two years, without him. That's just like when he had to go back to New-Zealand for two years, to get his papers sorted out after the burglary. We made do, but it hurt. He wouldn't be as far away this time around, but we probably won't be able to see each other much anyway. Trips are expensive. We might spend a lot of time in Second Life, once he gets a proper internet connection.
But will I be able to stay in France for that long? I miss my chosen language, my chosen country. I'm homesick. And even though I know I'll be homesick with France once I get there, too, the feeling is overwhelming. I'm angry at S.O that it took him so long to accept to go back to London, despite my pleas. Yes, I was sick. But I was sick because I felt stuck in this country, in this sad little town, and the more he refused to leave and find a job in England, the worse I felt.
And now that it was starting to take shape... we had a time-frame, a plan... Now we have to reconsider everything again. September 2011.
There's another problem with that job. It's a people job. I'm good with people, to a point, but I stress out easily (obvious much?). I think I can deal with one year, but two years? A bit long. And yet I'm tempted, because it's a nice job, for a worthy cause: recycling.
Dunno what to do. S.O's standard answer, "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it", just doesn't cut it this time. I sort of hope they don't pick me up for the job, so that I don't have to decide -- but that's the coward's way. I have to face my responsibilities and choose anyway. It's tough.
